CUPID, THAT DAMNED LITTLE FAIRY!

Ah, yes. January has blown on by and February is upon us. Soon it will be Valentine's Day. The day that has been trumped up by greeting card companies worldwide to be the culmination of all that is good and loving in each person's life. The reality is that Valentine's Day is dreaded by men worldwide who are clueless about what the hell to do for the woman in their life who are expecting grandiose gestures of affection and undying love in the form of cards, candy, dinners at fancy restaurants and baubles of diamonds to flash at their single friends. For those single friends, Valentine's day is the dreaded day of mourning for a love life that is missing in action and a brutal reminder of one's lonliness that can usually be overlooked easily on other days. Cupid and his arrows running amok shooting arrows everywhere and bringing more misery than love to most of us. I'm trying to figure out how this commercialized mess of a holiday came to be such a money machine when the reality of what it stands for should be the real focus. As with Christmas, merchandisers has blown the whole thing out of proportion and created chaos in the name of goodness.

My solution is that we take back this little insignificant holiday. What everyone wants is to know they are loved? The greeting card companies, restaurants and jewelers have conveyed a message that February 14th is the day to pull out all the stops to show that special someone just how much that love cost you. It's simply ridiculous. GUYS -- Women love jewelry or at least most of us do. Planning to prepose, don't do it on Valentine's Day. God, it is soooo cliche'. Wait till a random Tuesday night in August or something. She will be blown away. Totally won't suspect it. Valentine's Day any jewelry short of a ring is lost in the anticipation of that big question. We get a little box and it has dazzling diamond earrings in it normally, we would be flabbergasted, thrilled and think it was amazing and sweet. On Valentine's Day, we see a little box and get all excited and think "Here it comes" and we see earrings and think "Damn, he's never going to pop the question." So, just skip the jewelry. In fact, you could skip most of the stuff and still score hugely in the romance department. Ladies, this goes for you too. And, if you are single or have friends that are take time on Valentines day to take them out. Go dancing with a bunch of friends including single ones, send them a card that let's them know how great a friend they are, or send them a little token of affection to let them know you cherish their friendship. Believe me, they will really appreciate it because Valentine's day sucks for the single.

Here is my list of awesome and romantic things to do for Valentine's Day. Married, single, engaged or just dating, these gifts require a little work, a little time, a little creativity but really touch the heart and will score big.

1. Cook dinner. Make a wonderful romantic dinner at your place with flowers on the table, candlelight, soft music. It doesn't have to be anything complicated. Spaghetti and a salad with a great loaf of italian bread and a bottle of red wine with a store bought tira misu for dessert would work great. Or order food and pick it up. Put is on some plates and heat in the microwave. Use nice plates too, not paper. Don't have nice plates or wine glasses? Go to a dollar store. You only need two of each.

2. Make a collage. I actually did this for Joel last year. Look through magazines and cut out words that relate to your feelings or thoughts about your loved one. Cut them out and glue them to a poster board. I cut out words on white and red backgrounds only and then used the red words to form a heart in the center and put all the white words on the outside. So not only does it have all these words like, Sweet, heart, lover, sexy, cute, romance, darling, hot, etc. on it but when you step away it is a picture of a big red heart. Very cool and he really loved it.

3. Make a "How do I love you let me count the ways list". Sit down at a computer and type all the things you love about him/her. Use pretty fonts, colors, etc. Make the list as long or short as you like and then print it and put it inside a card or frame it or present it like a scroll with a ribbon tied around it.

4. Make a CD of songs that make me think of us. Go to www.walmart.com for 88 cent downloads and burn a CD of great songs. Print a picture of yourself or the two of you and crop it to fit in a jewel case. Viola.

5. Rent some romantic movies, pop popcorn and make some chocolate martinis, and snuggle on the couch. You could even print tickets for a romantic night at the movies and stick them in a card.

6. Go do something wild and fun. Take snowboarding lessons, go to a place with casinos and play for a while, go whalewatching, go to a ceramic studio and make his and her coffee mugs. Go for a walk in a beautiful and breathtaking place you know. Go to the ocean and walk the beach its desserted in February and beautiful if there is snow. Afterward, go find a little place and share a hot chocolate and warm up each others hands.

7. Go get massages together or take a couples yoga class.

8. Have a scavenger hunt. Write cryptic clues and leave them at different locations either in the house or outside leading to the bedroom, or a hot bubble filled tub or a gift hidden somewhere.

9. Fill a fish bowl with pink and red hearts each with little love poems written on each. You can find buckets of love poems or sayings at a local library. Just fold the hearts in half and drop them in. Tie with a pretty bow on the rim. Add some chocolate kisses for fun.

10. Give a fish. Silly I know but quaintly romantic. Name it something romatic like Romeo or Casanova. A little beta can live in a regular fish bowl and can adorn an office desk. They are relaxing, easy to care for, and will remind the person of you each time they look at it swimming about.

13. Make a gift basket. Just take a box and cut it so it is about 3-4" high and open topped. Wrap in a valentine type wrapping paper. Fill it with some tissue paper and trinkets. You can find loads of inexpensive items at different stores, dollar stores. You can do a junk food box for a football fan and put a little foam football in there too. You can do a massage box, filled with massage oil, body lotion, body shampoo, and a handheld massager along with a coupon that can be presented to you to give that massage to your loved one. A box filled with a couple romantic movie dvds, a box of microwave popcorn and some raisinets for the movie lover. A box of nailpolish and a manicure gift certificate for the pampered princess.

14. Nothing says I love you like.... use your imagination. Usually the answer is simple. A poem that you wrote yourself. A key to your apartment on a heart shaped key ring. A book that you loved and wanted to share. Meeting your parents. Meeting your friends. Going away for the weekend together. The opera, theater, museums, or concerts.

The key is find what your loved one loves besides you and you have the key. It takes very little to be a romantic fool and it shouldn't be something that happens one day a year. If you are in love or even think you might be on your way, showing the other person your heart is important. Do hearts break. Yeah, they do, but they heal too and become stronger and more caring and more durable. So, don't hold back love, give it freely, accept it gladly and believe that there is someone for each of us to love in our lifetimes. We can each find our soulmate with patience and by opening our hearts.

So forget the expensive stuff. Do something amazingly heart felt and loving. Teach that fairy and his freinds a lesson or two about love. That it can't be bought and sold. It doesn't have a carat weight, and that love does not have to be only for couples. Friends are loved by friends. So, show love to all your friends and family too. Let's change this dreaded holiday into a love fest like it was the sixties. Just love everybody that day. Imagine what a day like that could bring to the world.