So, in a few short months (six to be exact) my oldest baby is going to be married. I have had quite sometime to digest this information as they have been engaged for about three years. I'm glad for that, because they have been together 3-1/2 years. She is a lovely young lady. A Pastor's daughter. My son's pastor, in fact. They are planning a big wedding with all the bells and whistles. I am trying to be a good mother in law and not be pushy or intrusive about the plans. I think I'm doing an okay job of it. Joel and I are a little weird about our role in the whole wedding thing. If I was paying we would be doing something much lower scale. Gary's education isn't paid off yet. I can't borrow any more right now to cover a wedding. Her parents are footing the bill thus far, but in all fairness I know we gotta ante up something. And we intend to, we just aren't really sure what to do exactly. But, we will meet with her mom and dad hash it over and work it out. It's fine.
What's bugging me is that I recently made note in Hannah's baby book about her losing her first tooth. Hannah has two baby books the secular version and the religious version. Joel has been meticulous about updating it adding photos, capturing each little moment on paper , every milestone is documented. This is great. Problem is my eldest child has a baby book too, I think. Somewhere in a box is a book that has the first page filled out with baby's name, mommy's name, daddy's name, date of birth, weight 9 lbs 4 oz., length 19-1/2 in., hospital name and hospital photo. And that is it. I never penned another word. Nothing about his first tooth, first solid food, first word (Daddy), first steps (Christmas Eve 1983) nothing. I was a bad mommy.
In my defense, my marriage tanked sometime during the honeymoon. By the time Gary was 18 months old we were seperated for the third and final installment of the marriage. We divorced bitterly in 1987 (Valentine's Day). I was busy, covering bruises, protecting my baby from an idiot, and trying to please a man who could never ever be pleased. I was depressed, scared, and exhausted. There was little time for journalling.
Still, my baby is getting married and someday he will realize his little sister has every little moment of her life chronicled for history and his life hasn't a word written about it. He'll be okay with it. He'll say he understands, but I know he'll be a little hurt. He'll feel a little slighted.
So, I have a plan. I'm going to take all his baby pictures and go through and make a DVD baby book. I'm going to try to remember every drool, dribble, and gurgle. I'm going to make sure he knows that even though his mommy was distracted 24 years ago, she still thinks he was a great baby, a great kid and a great adult.
Things to mention. He slept through the night from birth (yes, really). He could crawl like a bat out of hell. He learned to walk on Christmas Eve and a Christmas Party our neighbors were throwing. He sat on Santa's lap for the first time when he was 9 days old, our neighbor stopped by in full Santa gear. He wooed his great grandmom the first time she saw him, with his full head of hair and his beautiful gray eyes. He would take 2 four hour naps each day. Ate 4 oz of formula and never spit up. He would play with his toes for hours. We knew he'd be an artist at 9 months old when he painted the bedroom wall with his poopie. He used to make aluminum foil armor for the tiny lego men when he was 7 or 8. He played T-ball and soccer fearlessly. His first curse word was God Damn it (he got that one from me). And the list goes on and on.
For the record, I have two wonderful, marvelous kids. Gary was my first and he has been the best kid a mother could ask for. I'm very very lucky.
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